Thanks For All the Fish

I'd like to take a moment to thank the fine men of plentyoffish.com for the constant, never ending, ridiculous fodder for my blog. Without you, gentlemen, my life would be far less amusing. 

I'd like to thank the old dude who kept sending me gross messages, each dirtier than the previous. After I called you out on your disgusting behavior, Mr. I'm-Too-Sexy-For-This-Beer-Gut, you explained, through a string of words so crude and disgusting that I would never repeat them on this blog, that you were sleeping your way through the ladies of the dating site, and that all women were beneath you. Though I don't believe, for a second, that you could find as many hard-up women to sleep with as you claim, thank you - for putting it in writing…It made it much easier to get your profile shut down.

I'd also like to thank the man who sent me an angry message after I did not immediately respond to his first message, of, "Let's get a drink tonight." Though you think that my not responding within 20 minutes was "rude," Mr. Entitled, I appreciate your zeal. Unfortunately, I think that your two condos, boat, expensive car, and piles of money may have gone to your head. I'm afraid you simply cannot get everything you want the second you want it, and perhaps with the next girl you should try a slightly softer approach…maybe start with, "Hello, my name is ____." Just a thought.

And, finally, let me thank the many strange, awkward gentlemen who have sent me compliments that, quite frankly, really aren't compliments at all. 

• "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Ricki Lake?" I know, she's lost weight, she's cute…but really, not the best celeb look-alike option out there.
  
• "I mean this only in a good way: I love that tiny asymmetry in your eyes. It makes you real." Though I do believe he meant this to be a compliment, I read it and all I could think was…my eyes are crooked??? How have I never noticed this!

 So, thank you, all ye fish, and keep the crazy coming:)

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