Yet Another One Bites the Dust

I waited a few days before writing this, not sure it even bared mentioning, but there are lessons to be learning and laughs to be had with each and every dating dud, downfall, and debacle...And this should be no different.

I've been "seeing" someone for the last eight weeks, and I use the term "seeing" loosely, because we had seven dates in eight weeks, and the farthest things went was a long anticipated but disappointing, lukewarm hug at the end of date number six. Not a great sign.

I spent the last eight weeks enjoying our dates, and feeling like we had a lot in common, a good, friendly connection, but I wasn't really sure if he actually liked me as anything more than a friend. One would think that you could assume he was interested, since he repeatedly asked me out, held doors, and insisted on paying, but I usually go by the tell tale little touches, hugs, or perhaps the occasional kiss. With this guy, though, I had none of that. And yeah, it was nice to know someone wasn't just going out with me to get sex, and sure, he respected my body, blah blah blah. (Especially good since I'm attempting the whole "no sex before monogamy" thing.) But after a while I was thinking I needed to accept that if he seems like he's just not that into you, he's not.

Nevertheless, I was having fun getting to know him, and had no other prospects in sight, so I ignored other bad signs, like the fact that he would go onto the dating sight right after getting home from a date with me. (Yes, yes, I'm a total cyber stalker...but if I have to do the online dating thing, I should at least get to enjoy the creepy benefits.)

Our eight week, hands-free affair culminated this past week when we went out to dinner. The day before, I noticed that he had taken his profile down from the dating site, an act I took to be a very good sign. I thought he was ready to stop looking. I thought he was ready to get serious, and he was, just not with me.

He picked me up and we went out for a lovely meal, chock full of good food and conversation. Afterward, he drove me home, pulled up the driveway and put the car into park, but didn't turn it off, and instead turned toward me and said, "Jen, I need to talk to you about something." Now, you might think he was going to say, "I really like you," or, "be my girlfriend," or something equally enjoyable, but I could tell from the tone of his voice and the look on the face that was not what was coming. My heart dropped a little and I felt a wide, fake smile spread across my face as I listened to him explain that he'd been casually dating online, but now he's met someone he wants to get serious about...and obviously that someone wasn't me. Smile still plastered to my face, I thanked him for his honesty, got out of the car, took my walk of rejection, and moved on.

But here's the kicker...At the end of our lovely meal, I unwittingly insisted on paying for the very dinner that was to be the precursor to my castoff, since "it wasn't fair to always let him pay." And he let me, knowing full well he was about to dump me on my ass.

I should have demanded my money back.

Happy Holidays

Holidays for single people can be a little difficult, surrounded by happy couples and new babies and people asking things like, "So, are you dating anyone new?" It's important to see the humor and keep on laughing at these times. And so, to that end, I give you...My Relationship Status Discussion With a Four Year Old...

Setting: Christmas Eve, my parents house, my cousin's four year old, Sydney, has just climbed up onto my lap.

Sydney: Who's mommy are you?
Me: I'm not anyone's mommy.
Sydney: Yes you are. Who's mommy are you?
Me: I'm really not anyone's mommy. I don't have any kids.
Sydney: Do you have a daddy?
Me: Nope, I haven't found a daddy, yet.
Sydney: Then who do you live with?
Me: I live alone...with my cat...(turning toward my sister) And that is officially the most depressing conversation I will have all Christmas.